Communication

When communication breaks down and arguments arise, you may imagine that you have failed or that you were unlucky and got a horrible kid. You may be thinking "where did my delightful, smart, pleasant well mannered little darling go and who is this rude, awful person standing before me?"

The fact is, in family life we all have a job to do

– we adults need to be parents

– the children need to grow through adolescence

and no-one has trained either of us in the best way of doing it.

It is important for our children to develop their own ideas and opinions and become their own person not just an extension of us.  However, that can be hard for us to accept, and they don’t yet have the skills to communicate these ideas and opinions in a way that we will accept. 

We have to remember that whilst they may be taller than us, sound like adults and look like adults, they aren’t, they are still children so need to be reassured that just because they got it wrong this time, they can learn, they do still need our approval, care and love. 

Our children should always feel confident in the knowledge that we will love them un-conditionally, even when their behaviour is difficult.

We have found, in our experience working with many families, from different backgrounds and with different problems that good communication is ABSOLUTELY KEY to maintaining good healthy relations within the family.

Therefore in whatever way is best for your family keep the communication lines open

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